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Is This Formidable Trait Driving Your Addiction?
Insecurity: A lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt.
We all have our moments of self-doubt. When these moments become patterns, and those patterns become a lifestyle, insecurity begins to rule your personal kingdom. And that’s not a place you want to live.
The Domino Effect
Insecurity easily leads to poor choices, addiction and broken relationships. Here’s how:
- Insecurity Breaks Your Self-Efficacy
Self-efficacy is the belief in your abilities to complete tasks and influence the events of your life. When you’re insecure, you are not sure if you’re capable of doing what it takes to succeed. The “success” might be staying sober, getting a job, maintaining relationships or many other things.Low self-efficacy creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. You believe you are going to fail, so you don’t make the efforts required to succeed…and then you fail. This cycle pushes some people toward substance abuse. Others who struggle with this issue may find it hard to break out of addiction, since they doubt their ability to stay sober.
- Insecurity Warps Your Self-Esteem
Full of self-doubt, insecure people often have low self-esteem. This can lead to all sorts of negative thinking. “I don’t deserve a life free from addiction.” “I deserve this heartache and pain – even death.”Insecurity can also transform self-esteem into “other-esteem.” Rather than basing value on how you feel about yourself, you try to feel good by getting approval from others. How others perceive you becomes your gauge for self-worth. This puts too much power in the hands of others. It’s unhealthy for relationships and your own mental well-being.
- Insecurity Steals Your IdentityWhen you are filled with fear about what you can’t do and who you are to others, there’s not much room left for anything else. It’s easy to become consumed with trying to please others. It’s also easy to let drugs or alcohol define you.
Full of insecurity, you begin to forget what makes you…you. Insecurity makes you shrink back from pursuing new things that interest you. It makes you give up on things you tried in the past. You don’t set goals, make friends or pursue hobbies – all because of insecurity. For those struggling with substance abuse, it can make you forget you are more than your addiction.
Three Strikes, Security is Out
With broken self-efficacy, a warped self-esteem and a lost identity, insecure individuals easily lose hope. If this is you, it may be tempting to drink or use drugs in an effort to numb the pain or “escape” the constant inner turmoil. You may feel you can’t turn to others for support, since you are insecure about your relationships. You may doubt your ability to get or stay sober, so you stop trying. This cycle will continue to spin until you are able to attack the source and shut it down. You must find a way to strike out insecurity.
Additional Reading: Controlling the Addiction Conversation in Your Head
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